Spider-Man 3 Review

The main thing with this movie is that, despite its now-mandatory (for summer blockbusters, anyways) ridiculously long run time, it still feels way too overcrowded. There are, let's count 'em, three major villains in this flick, 4 if you count the symbiote when it's on Peter. You have Harry as amnesia-afflicted, sometimes nice, but mostly naughty New Goblin (Westerfeld fans: His new version of the Glider is so what the boards in Uglies must be like). You have the introduction of Flint Marko, the "have a heart, his daughter's on chemo" Sandman. And you also have Eddie "The Asshole" Brock as nasty slobbering screeching Venom. Which was freaking awesome. Venom, that is. Not so much the over stuffing.

Let's start with the symbiote. A meteor falls while MJ and Peter are making out in a web. Don't they do that in, like, every movie? I know, right? And then the Black Goo sticks itself onto Peter's Ridiculous Little Scooter and goes home. Where it, like, eats him. And then he's all vengeful and angry and an asshole and EMO (seriously, there WAS eyeliner). That is, until he runs around in a churchtower.

Onto Harry's evil complex. So Peter's riding along on his Ridiculous Little Scooter when out of nowhere, with absolutely NO PREAMBLE, Osborne flies up and kicks the crap out of him. However, Peter manages to get Osborne knocked on the head in the process. Takes him to a hospital; guy wakes up with amnesia. Go fig. Convenient, no? So then Harry generally runs around being nice until he makes an omelette for MJ and they make out. Then suddenly he remembers all the crap he *thinks* Peter did to him and his dad and is all vengeful again. Cue Willem Dafoe's mirror magic.

The deal with Flint Marko is like this. Guy busts out of prison. Guy has cancer-riddin daughter. Cue aw-factor. Guy gets involved in a physics accident (WTF?) and becomes made of sand. Decides to live a life of crime to raise money for daughter's treatment. Why not just charge admission to see the sandyness? Guy gets beat up by Spiderman. A lot. Fatal weaknesses: water, heat, subway trains, and anything else that makes sand into not-sand.

So Eddie Brock is running around takin' pictures of Spidey and Peter's like, "WTF, that's my job." And Eddie Brock gets a job at the Bugle. And Peter decides to ruin his life. So Brock's chillin' with God up in the church and sees Peter running around the belltower, trying to get rid of the symbiote. He does, but it falls onto Brock. Brock's like, "EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and runs away into the night to await a massive team-up with Sandman where they will hang a cab with MJ in it over the city and kick the crap out of Peter. A LOT.

That was a little out of chronological order, but grouped by character shiz, so, for me, it works. Overall this movie was really entertaining, and pretty sweet. The exception, of course, would be the middle chunk of the movie where Peter is emo and evil and seems to be trapped in the seventies. It was painful to watch. Of course, *THAT* section has its own exception: the scene where Harry and Peter have a massive fight at Harry's digs. That was amazing. I love the Harry/Peter dynamic (no, I do not actually mean that in a slashy way) in this movie. In the entire series. It's always been amazing. To see them have it out like the men they are (or wish to be) was awesome, especially when they came back and fought together at the end.

The effects? Let's see...Symbiote: AMAZING. Sandman: AMAZING. Venom: THE MOST AMAZING EVER. ...there's really not much more to say. Venom blew my mind.

Conclusion? Spidey 3 minus (EMO!Peter minus Harry Fight) = Very Good. See it now, because She's Cine It. ;)

The Requisite Awkward Introduction.

Well, hello! You seem to have stumbled upon my little corner of the net. You can call me K. Welcome. I *heart* movies. That's what this nice little blog is for. Through this blog I'll be keeping tabs on movies I'm excited about, reviewing new movies that I see, pointing out the occasional tiny gem no one would see, and hopefully servicing the general public by separating the crap from the gold. Because, let's face it, the business side of Hollywood is definitely not all about the viewer. So when it's late January/early February and the industry is busy congratulating itself and unloading all of its crap onto the public and some poor unsuspecting soul is just looking for a good movie to see...well, maybe I will be able to help.

And, roll camera!
~K